The hardest thing to let go of

I've talked lately about how I'm going through and giving up many of my things. I hope that letting go of many of my possessions will make my life simpler and easier and cheaper. While considering how having things affects my life, I thought of an intangible that I cling to: ego.

I think I'm only about as self-centered as an average person should be, it's not that I think I'm especially great or anything. It's more in the context of Buddhism that I refer to ego. In order to be enlightened or to eliminate suffering, according to Buddhism, you have to let go of self. To be honest, that scares the crap out of me.

This blog is one of the most obvious outward manifestations of my ego. It doesn't have to be. If I stop looking to see how many people notice me, and concentrate instead on writing and goals, it can be a tool for personal growth rather than a competition of sorts to see how many people I can get to subscribe (an abysmal number at best). If I stop writing to an imaginary audience, I wonder what I'll write about.

I don't know if I'll ever be able to lose my ego, but the least I can do is be more aware of when it motivates and influences me.

Clutter removal

In just under two weeks I'll be moving in with Jay. His place is completely furnished and decorated, and my clutter isn't needed (nor wanted by me). I've been spending every waking moment at home going through my worldly belongings, some of which have been stashed away and following me around for years. Last night I threw away my postcard collection (correspondence with no real "worth") and tonight I'll give away my bouncy-ball collection to my niece. It's been difficult for me to let many things go, but I know removing clutter from my life will help me with my financial goals. There are so many things that I've bought or been given that I haven't used at all. It's forced me to face those things, cut my losses, and look at how I can avoid it in the future.

The few things I'll keep are very thought out, and we'll find some way to incorporate them into his style so completely different from mine.

Link Love Lazeday

Sunday is supposed to be my day to get things done at home, but generally ends up being lazy. Enter procrastination via blogging! Here, enjoy my first link love post!

Heavy Petal reviewed ladybugs. Yeah, actual ladybugs and their effectiveness in fighting off evil aphids.

Sewing Stars shows off some adorable sewn veggies.

Forget the impact on your waistline, No Credit Needed looks at the cost benefit to dropping pop from your grocery budget. (But calls it "soda", which is clearly wrong;)

And my nomination for yummiest sounding cupcakes of the week: Snickerdoodle cupcakes.

Getting in backpacking shape

I went for a fantastic hike on Saturday. Jay had to spend the day in studying for a final and so I decided to go out alone. It was supposed to rain all day, but when the weather seemed fair, albeit windy, I set out in search of a multi-geocache with an estimated round trip of 4 miles. I need to get some consistent workouts to prepare for backpacking. I've never gone for that long of a hike alone and was pretty excited about the prospect. With no distractions I could completely immerse myself.

After I'd been out for about 1.5mi, I could hear the storms approaching. I decided to tough it out, and donned my raincoat despite the heat. The day just became more beautiful as the rain fell. I stumbled upon a huge toad that covered my entire palm. And I was searching for one of the last waypoints I discovered the most amazing moth, just out of its cocoon and drying its wings. I stood for ages just staring and snapping pictures.



The terrain was easy, but the distance was substantial for me and included a daypack. I was proud that I kept good posture, and it was only when I neared the end that I began to feel fatigued. Now I just need to do this more often. My goal is once each week to get a sizable hike in.